- none of these pictures are pictures of my jewelry that I took myself. I found them all on the interwebs. Credit for all these pics and the jewelry in them goes to not me.
Because everyone feels more patriotic with the beaded version of sleeping tarantula wolf spiders dangling beneath your soon to be stuffed with Sousa ears. You thought those white things were stars or possibly bits of popcorn but no. They’re little pellets of despair that only shine because you’ve given them a home.
Behold! Who needs actual weather when you can wear the snowflakes Satan shat out after rage-eating Zeuss’ moral high ground. See how they’re layered? It was a complex carb.
Are these made of paper.
If you have charm collecting peeps, don’t worry. Skip the lip-biting cuteness of a Juicy Couture dog-in-a-bath charm, and jump for this bratwurst sized splotch that got confused somewhere between household pet and rosary beads and then decided oh fuckit let’s shit out a circle of legs from our liver-anus.
Y’all don’t think Google trolls me. Welp. Now you know. Now you know.
And this is what happens if you Google ‘elegant holiday jewelry’: