Re: my aforementioned rage
To be honest, I was kind of looking forward to venting. I love verbal cardio. If I loved actual cardio as much as I love verbal cardio, I’d…well, I’d be that person. Ahahaha whatever I didn’t accidentally not realize that my mom’s cocktail mixes that she made me bring home were made of straight gin and a dash of concentrated shenanigans and then drink four of them because actual phone calls make me panic like oops I forgot to wear pants to this performance panic now everyone hates me in a legitimate way oh wells hahahaha PANIC and then get wretchedly hungover and eat an entire gluten free pizza leaving hubs with a measly sandwich for dinner no I definitely didn’t do that. Because I’m a fucking adult, see.
I’m not ragey anymore. I’m definitely not chipper, though, but let’s be real, when am I ever.
For the sake of clarity, I don’t know names. I don’t know specifics. I wasn’t in on that debacle, and I very thoroughly strive to not be in on any of the debacles. I see a lot of them, have gotten shit for not getting involved, and have taken abundant amounts of time and effort to clarify for peeps why I choose to engage (or not) the way I do. I expect judgment for my choices; I’m also very choosy about whose judgment gets to inform my behavior. So.
My ‘Medium Fam’ is based precisely on the writing. This is a writing site. The community I fell for is one that writes beautifully. I have learned to have my guard up and be careful, since joining here, but even with that caution wrapped into my choices, the priority is and always will be on the writing. If intimacy of any nature happens after, it will be aside and on top of that writing.
That is why I mourn my fam leaving here. Because their writing was and is beautiful and I not only learned from it, and grew because of it, I further began to crave it. The hunger that exists in me now is a patchwork of people who write things I actively seek.
I don’t much do passive aggressive shaming posts (lie, I did three of them and I’m not sorry whatever I’m not an adult either everything is a lie hahahaha fuck off) and I won’t do one about the behavior that has (or hasn’t) happened here. I don’t have enough info, and I don’t want to as am hungover and out of pizza.
So what I will do instead (because I have to do something, look at this vapid hole I made because I can’t get it up for a delicious rant ugh fml) is say this to my beloved, dearly dearly beloved, writer family:
Please write your exquisite perfectly just-you selves. Please always do that. Please put your care and your tempest and your calm into the amazingness I fell for months ago and continue to fall for every time I log on. Please make mountains and molehills and ravines and plains and prairies and abysses out of anything and everything that happens. Please craft nonsense and ridicule and insight and snark and pure kindness. Please write.
I am not the only one who has embraced the you that is your writing.
And, I am not the only one who sees you, aside from that writing, because of that writing, through that writing.
Medium makes it easy to write frequently. I know a lot of us have it in our blood to write all the time, but some of us don’t. For some of us, it’s a struggle to put words to page, even if they are screaming to be let out.
So I’m asking.
Please write. Please. Just write. We all, even you, need it. Fuck all that other ish in the ear with a cactus. Let’s write.