I’ve gotten to a place in the daily writing game where I know what type of post I’ll be putting out, well before I’ve even started writing it. There are days when I am dead/blocked/spent, and will be lucky to stumble onto a haiku that isn’t horribly paced. There are days where I have a topic, a title, a goal, a plot, and often a specific line that makes me want to drop everything and start writing right there in the middle of traffic and waning daylight. Then there are days where I will have a topic, a loose idea, and a single ruffle will render my inclination rubble in a matter of minutes.
I received a potential offer for paid written work a couple weeks ago, and I took it seriously. I researched and edited and rewrote and edited more before I even sent a reply back. I got a polite decline, if that. The next communication, mere days later, was an email asking if I would be one of the lucky ones to pay to write for the very same site a) that politely declined to pay me for writing after saying maybe they were interested, and b) on which I have been writing steadily for free for the past ten months.
1. The fact that every frantic, terrified poverty piece written by dozens of brilliant writers on here was immaterial to your decision to make writers pay in order to maybe potentially kind of get paid later is hurtful. It is tone deaf. Please excuse me for needing my $5 a month for medical supplies that run me into the thousands every year WITH insurance that I pay for out of my own shitburger income and that I probably won’t have next year at all. No, I won’t be spending my $5 on a mocha. And if I was, you can be damn sure I would need every fuckforsaken drop of that liquid heaven to prevent me from dissolving under whatever bullshit shower decides today is my day. I’ll be right back with my grocery list of things that literally will not be purchased because oops I was sick for a day and I have zero sick days as a freelancer and while no that it is not your problem, you asking me for my money after pretending to offer me some is pretty twisted, and I’m not taking it well at all because I am broke.
The expense issue was mentioned. Suggestions were made. You chose not to hear them.
2. There is little to no transparency here. No one is clear on what specifically you are planning, where this is going, or how we will all fit in after making this our writing home for months, some of us since the site’s first wobbling weeks. It is shady at best.
3. I wanted to write about something amazing that I learned to do over the course of my year (ahem 10 months) here on Medium. I had it all the fuck planned out. It’s a beautiful, precious, thing and I wanted to share it. But that’s not what is valued here, is it? Good to know.
I’m disappointed on a lot of levels. It’s hard to write on a site that doesn’t let you trust them, that claims it values your work in a sly smile off to the left while spitting disdain from its right.
I’m back to Fox, you know? I want to believe. But I don’t.